unpredictable journal

31 August 2007

Feel so tired working together them. Little things also wanna nag*3. So sians. Actually she can take her cash one but because she wanna balance off earlier, thats why asked me to wait for her. Frankly speaking I don't mind. But why must I be the one to take the drawer keys for them everyday? Why can't one day, they just take it for me? Why end day must I help them to bring vouchers out? Why can't they bring it out for me one day? They're just selfish. I didn't ask for help, and I don't fancy your help. Since you helped me on your own accord then stop your complains. Why you can always ask for your denomination from me and why can't I ask from you? And think you would be so nice to help me during end day? Cuz you wanna go back home earlier thats why you volunteered to help. And I fucking hell hate working with him, when you need help you talk to me. When you're pek chey, you treat me like transparent. Why always make me do additional work when the others don't 've to? Hell, and stop comparing me. Is not that I always don't get things done properly, is I'm not familiarized with it yet. Don't expect me to remember things that I only get to practice once in a blue moon. And didn't you people wanna me to be fast? Why bothers to write contra from a/c to a/c and contra to a/c to a/c? Waste time isn't it? The quickest way is to staple together incase of any excess or shortage for ref and is much more easier to find out. Can't I've my own way of doing things? Even over this matter also talk to me with that kind of attitude! PLEASE! I can't take it with the comment: "SO".

I already tired to please them, what a person I'm now is not what I used to be. I'm not me over there. I always hide my true self up. Thats because I know, when I wanna learn... tolerance, humble are the qualities that I needs to have. Many times I did thought of resign but I always think how tough I've struggle during the training and I really didn't wanna disappoint FPP (my mentor) over this small lil' issue. And more over, I don't wanna make any family memebers look down on me. I wanna my mum to have a happy life...

... and I'm contended.

I would try to tolerate whatever unhappy stuffs cuz of her.

By right, I should be helping the old man to pay his utility bills. But he's not back home yet. I m kinda worry something might happen to him at work. Or perhaps... he just working overtime. I do not know, I only know he couldn't contact me cuz my line is suspensed temporary. Sigh, out of the blue I kinda worry of him. Seriously, I do miss him.

I went back home twice, cuz the first time I didn't bring my key and I was stuck outside. I just went back and realised that mummy was sleeping on the sofa but daddy not at home. I went in to ask kor kor where is he. He questioned me: "You lost your phone?" I nodded. He said: "Why so careless" with that kind of tone. I really can't stand it. I fucking hate people to say that. Didn't he lost his phone and keys before? This is my first time that I lost something, and my heart already feel so pain le. He still added with that comment. More over, is not his money to buy it and I didn't even ask my phone back from him. Sometimes, I just wonder why can't people just shut their mouth up?!! She also kns, side him de lah!

I driving nuts by them. How I wish this family only have mummy and I. Hais...

very moody, extremely moody...

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:26

30 August 2007

Today kinda of suay worx, don't know why I short of 20bucks again. Initially I thought was the coin exchange, but after deeper thought, I doubt was that customer. Whatever, is already over. Was being held back to open accounts and nobody helps me to do my filing and postages. So no choice 've to complete everything before I could meet my friend up.

Girl, thanks lotta! Thanks for your filter, I didn't use it. Shall return back to you the next meet up. Hmm, I used my own and the way you taught me to connect. And guess what? It works! Thanks a million. I've read up your blog, hmm... I do understand why your aunt keep pressurizing you. Cuz most adult thinks that we shall get a job once we graduate and starts to chip in the family expenses etc. Just like how the old man tried to hint me when I graduated not long. Luckily mummy helped me out and also I injured my legs mah. =) Well, no hurry... don't because of her you get so pressurized, not worth it eh? Follow your heart and cheer up! We going for holiday real soon right? Look at my countdown... and stop worrying about the danger over there. I promise and I swear we definitely will come back in one whole piece...

Girl, why left the two of us? Why give up when you already being confirmed? U forgotten, in order to work backroom, muz be in frontline for at least 2years?

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:11

29 August 2007

Today took pretty long to do balancing worx, cuz in between there're lots of interruption. So just made a cup of cereal for lunch. Hmm, end day... was so careless on my balancing. Initially couldn't balance but when I did a recount, is I keyed in wrongly. =)

Reached home pretty early, of course I'm happy. And mummy cook and brought it over, so had my dinner before bath. Hees... was famished.

Just get to know that mummy is resigning end of this month. I think she quarrelled with her lady boss. Well, I think I wanna increase her allowance to 300bucks if possible.

Bad sore throat.

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:40

28 August 2007

Yesterday totally not my day. Cuz I accidental gave out SA cash w/d voucher to customer and I spent 1hour haunting for it. When I called the customer and he said it was with him, I called CH to tell her that I'm not going. But she said, only left with Doreen, Mic and herself. So I took cabby down to meet them. Traffic was quite pack and the driver keep jerking the car, makes me feel like vomitting. Reached there and we went to swensen to have our dinner but I couldn't finish my bake rice. After eating, we went up to Anderson's to eat dessert, family fondue. I ordered another choco cake, is nice cuz it's not sweet. I keep making their fruits into the melted chocolate and pushed all the way down =P Took cabby back home and I didn't realise that my hp was left behind. In another word, I lost my handphone. Sadly, I only realise it this morning when I was searching for it before work as I thought my hp was so silent due to battery flat.

Was feeling low and didn't wanna work. But I still went and I get nagged early in the morning by him. Sighs, blame it for my carelessness. I was so afraid that my mood might be affected by that, and scare that I couldn't balance my cash. But fortunately, this doesn't happen. But*3, I gave out cash debit voucher accidentally again. SIGHS. Why?

I was so stressed up that I quickly went to call up customer. And luckily, she haven't empty her dustbin otherwise, I could never ever get it back. I offer to go her house void deck to take it back from her since she's staying 2 bus stops away. As I mentioned earlier on that I lost my hp, so I couldn't get her when I reached her place. I walked all the way back to my workplace, to get a chip phonecard and walked all the way back to her place. Who knows? The public phone is not functioning. I tried to borrow hp from passer-by but seems that none of them bother to lend it to me. I understand why. So nevermind. Until, this lady borrowed me but she was waiting with her black face. I couldn't reach my customer either, so I returned her hp after 1 phone call. I keep trying to borrow, but none willing to lend it to me. Tears just rolled down from my cheeks. I felt totally lost and questioning myself why torture myself? QUIT it!

Soon, I saw this guy making phonecall for few mins and it seems like the phone is functioning. So I went to try my luck and guess what? It's! I was so happy. But she didn't pick up the call until the 4th call that I made. =) I took the voucher back from her daughter.

I swear, I'll ensure that I take my voucher back from customer before letting them to go.

Took cabby back home, as I was real exhausted. Reached home did my laundry and called starhub to suspense my line temporary. Didn't manage to get through the lost and found department of comfort. Sobss...

This afternoon, went to NTUC to buy milo pack and I met Robin (my pfc). He asked me to accompany him for lunch next door so I went. Was queening to pay for my milo pack but he insisted to pay for me. The cashier didn't know who's money to take. I stop arguing with him when he said: "Don't make me p.s". Went to 've our lunch, he always order for me even when I say I don't wanna eat. So no choice, don't wanna waste his money, so I ate. Bump into brother in law, he was having lunch over there. =) Order drinks for him, he also wanna pay for it. Can't stand him. :) Very sweet of him. His gf must be very xinfu. =D

Sigh, FPP going to Bintan tomorrow. For 1week. And I guess this 1week I must be very independent cuz nobody else is going to help me if I've any doubts. Nobody helps me to do filing end of the day. Hais... gonna miss her.

Lost my phone = Lost my 1GB memory that I bought not long ago. Sighs. And those sweet smses that I've got from friend and you.

Sore throat

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:32

27 August 2007

Is already 1.42am but I'm still awake. I couldn't sleep cuz I've been thinking lots of thing. Saturday just told YX how mummy pampered us... esp me. When I reached home from school, finish bathing and sat down infront of computer. Mummy definitely bring in cake + a warm cup of cereal/milo for me. When dinner is ready, she always came in to let me know and bring my teabreak out. Night time, she could make another cup of milo for us. And bring it out to wash before she went in to sleep. Every morning, the first thing she do when she get up from bed was to walk into the kitchen and prepare cup of hot drink for us before we go for school or work.

I know she everytime loves to nag at me for not doing housework but deep in her heart, she don't wanna me to do a single thing at home. 20years, mummy have never ever beat, shout, and not even say me before for things that I've done. Even sometimes, it would be my fault.

I'm aware, whatever she said... is not what she really means.

+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.

I guess everything is fine for he and she. That's good.

I hope I'll luv myself more

01:42

Initial plan for saturday was actually to meet up friend but who knows that the DRC test took 10mins of data entry work and 3hours to complete the entire transfer work. While waiting, chatted with YX. Realise that 'family' is the only topic that we could chat about. =) Reached home with famished stomach and was so elated to see Mummy over here. So we went out to JP for dinner. Woohoo! Enjoyed the time together with Mummy.

This afternoon went out with Gina to Bugis just to get my coin pouch. But it seems like I couldn't find the one that I saw the other time. We headed down to find Jas at PS. Bought baby crysanthemum from her and we went down to far east plaza. Who knows that baby actually meet her up for dinner at ps and she asked us back to accompany her while Jas knock off at 10pm. Haha, and so... we walked back.

Though just few hours together with them, is already enough. Love hanging out with them.

... sighs... poor mummy been waiting for me to reach home since afternoon. So sorry. Yesterday she told me that she's not coming over... that's why I decided to go out. And I thought is only 10.30pm but when I reached home is already 11.30pm. And heard from Jie jie that mummy workplace happened a lot of things. Mummy feels like quiting. Sighs, it really breaks my heart to see mummy struggling over there. ='(

I wanna spend more time with her...

... cuz she's a greatest mummy in this world.

I hope I'll luv myself more

01:09

24 August 2007

Time flies, is Friday night. Woohoo, as usual tomorrow would be having DRS test at 2pm. No one willing to stay, so I've got no choice to volunteer again. After that gonna meet friend to bugis. Yepp, pretty enjoy this kind of life.

Alright, these few days not that many people. Feel kinda weird to see so few vouchers (70+) Haa waiting for the day to break 141. =) This afternoon this customer came to open account. Asked me lots of questions. Hell... I went ? ? ? haha... he actually opened a ST and 2 young savers a/c for his childrens. And guess what it was half way through for the young saver account for his first child that I got stucked for half an hour. That was because I keyed the birth date wrongly and results that I can't choose parent to sign s the signing condition. Hell, and all officers thought that was the new system fault as they trusted me so much. =x Nick came back to clear his box as he's going to be trf to orchard branch. Out of so many seniors, why must I be the one to collect his cash? Went back late again =(

Shall rest early tonight. Nighty!

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:42

23 August 2007

Nothing much. Just that mummy didn't came over this evening. I find that, I'm always like this. When she's over here, I do not know how to talk to her. But when she didn't come over, I kinda miss her. Sighs...

Didn't know why, it seems like I start to miss the place where I used to stay. I dislike their yelling towards my lil' niece. I dislike the house being so noisy.

And... the coming meet out couldn't get all to go. But nvm, I really didn't know she was so pressurized with this line. Haix, hope she settle down asap.

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:20

Bloody hell hate Tuesday, always end work late. I hate the detail count end of everyday, but who asked me not to be careful. He thought he could give me the empowerment test on the 14th August but who knows the shortage just happened on the same day. He've no other choice but to postpone the test date. Sighs...

Finally get to knock off early at 5.30pm. Had my laundry done and fallen asleep at 9pm. Hmm, didn't know why I'm always like this. Was so frustrated everytime I reached house doorsteps when the door is not open. I ever scolded my sister cuz of this. Sighs...

... I just get frustrated over...

Humid environment (Always pleased my mom and sis to open the house door for me before I reach home. Hate to close my room windows and door, cuz I loved the fresh air. I'll try to open the windows as big as possible and avoid switching on the fan. I love sleeping with room door opened! Perhaps, I'm just weird or simply lazy to open and close my room door?

I've an extreme bad habit, I don't like to talk to anyone (including my mom) when I'm dead beat. I'll just show my black face. Hahaha... too pampered by my mom. I wanna kick off all these!

I hope I'll luv myself more

01:31

20 August 2007

Ghost blocked my eyes? I've shortage of 600bucks but I balanced off my mid day as I already decide to fork out. But it was really nice of her, Ms Pang whom have came back to return me the money. Initially I pretty dislike her, as she always queen with black face. But you would never expect that she would say "I understand the feeling of having shortage". And is my first time seeing her smile.

Why can't mummy help me do laundry? Idiot.

We really wanna treat you well, treat you nice but you always do things that make us detest you to core!

I hope I'll luv myself more

19:16

19 August 2007

Hmm, time flies. This morning was such a nice cooling weather to sleep. Hmm whole day didn't eat anything worx, only cereal. Thought mummy will come over, but she didn't. Wondering how's her face. Think tomorrow after work, gonna visit her.

Whole day been staying inside my room to watch drama. Kinda bored but better than going out to shop. Sure spend money. Hmm... waiting for them to return me money. Kinda scare that they delay. If they really delay the money, then I won't 've enough to spend for KL shopping.

Just received one bad and good news. Bad news is... she broke off with him. Wondering if he's okay. Good news is my good sister, Zann ROM is on the 18 Sept! And her wedding dinner gonna hold on mid of next year. Sister, I can't wait for the day to come! I miss you and congrat!

Hmm, is getting late but I don't feel like sleeping worx. Cuz one sleep, wake up morning have to work le. Sighs...

That kor kor don't know what he's doing, sms him also don't know how to reply de. Hais... bloody hell.

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:30

18 August 2007

Today totally sucks, met those fussy customers but they very nice just that their transaction kinda complicated. Haa...

Hmm... vouchers little only, sighs. Ivy, relief csm... I aware that she's careful but she don't 've to sign for a cheque for 1o over mins de mah. Haix... Jessie and Yeow as usual always tease me. After work went to have lunch with Robin. Kaos, he walk damn fast never wait for me =( raining day ley, end up my foot kena mug. If I know, then won't wanna go eat with him le. I went because I wanna treat him for giving me referrals. But in the end he still pays for the meal. Took cabby back to his house, I went to JP to buy some KL trip stuffs. Robin sucks, not gentlemen at all de. Thinking how his gf survive with him. Nehx =P

Hmm, no money le... totally broke left with 200bucks reserved for kl trip de. Hope kor kor return me money soon and that old man as well.

Not sure if I ate too many of hello panda snack, cuz seems like I having tooth decay hais.

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:51

17 August 2007

This week seems like I've been learning lots of new things especially foreign currency. Today I've learnt the FCY FD. =)

This morning was raining cats and dogs. Madness, met Wen Bin in the bus and shared umbrella with him. But he still gets wet. Haha...

I told Ah Yeow that he (customer) actually looks like big bear*2, pointing at CCTV. Haha... when I went out he kinda bad, say it's okay if I overpaid him just give him a call. Ahem... -.-"

End day, vouchers seems kinda messy. Or I stupid? Or rather, I lazy to think? Perhaps... brain dead? Whatever. Jessie nag*3 at Nick saying that he didn't update stock. I just comment "Don't nag lah, give him some time to get used to it mah" then she say that I heart pain. Bloody hell. When Wen Bin first came she keep matching us. Then when Nick came, she match him with me. Hmm, kinda sad cuz Nick is leaving us on the 27 of this month. =( Cuz he very cute, every time need us to do him a favour, he'll sure say something nice about us. Haa, and all of us dote him a lot a lot. Although he's older than me, but I'm still his senior. Aha! And I'm so jealous, that one aunty actually praised him. Say Jessie and I very slow. But the fact is, Nick is doing dep or w/d transaction whearas Jessie and I kena closure of a/c. So where can compare?

Oh ya, I really love mummy! She brought dinner over and brought my working shirt back home to wash! Woohoo! Nah, see... that's why I always 've no complain for having to give her monthly allowance of 200bucks w/o fail. So since the day I start joining this company, she already took 800bucks from me. Hees... without fail worx! Unlike him, give him the same amount always not enough to use. Hell, he still owes me 100 over near 200bucks nehx! Hais... donno when he returning me back. Sob

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:55

16 August 2007

Suppose today should be my off day but due to the maintenance for my network, I took it earlier on last week.

Today I wore the long skirt that girls bought for me during my birthday. When I saw Jessie, she said: "Wow, tonight you going where to party... wear until so nice". Then Ah Yeow keep disturbing me keep singing indian song. Aunty say I look like su nu. Although FPP didn't say anything, but she kept looking at me also.

Think today not my day norhx, keep doing things wrong.

1) Know that I've to zap a copy of the endorsement letter, but didn't.

2) A cheque that I've already keyed in but still send for clearing. Sighs, make my csm n sgc so headache.

I overheard CSM says that today I'm not alright norhx. Haa... perhaps, it really meant to be my off day.

Nick open counter and his vouchers was like so few? Guy, way to go.

This evening uniform measurement, didn't know that I lost an inch. =)

When leaving, Robin asked me to wait for him. Then I realised he want to sent me home but I didn't... not too good eh? Anyway, really appreciate it. Sighs... don't know how to do referral to him and he keep giving me referrals.

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:27

14 August 2007

Sighs, I really hate to pen this down but I've to. I've a shortage of 500bucks, please don't ask me how this happened... it just happen so naturally in less than 2hours. CSM was asking who wants to relief Mount E branch. But it seems like nobody responded. So I actually volunteered myself. He said that he really do not wish me to go, but on the other hand... he wants me to gain some experience over there. But who knows, I can't even balance my cash. In the end, I stayed inside the remaining working hours all the way till 1930hours.

I felt absolutely bad especially when CSM told me that he actually complimented me to boss just this morning. He said, each time he praised me something sure happened. And he swear infront of me that he'll never ever want to praise me any more. This moment SGC patted my shoulder. =) CSM said, I can still continue with my tellering but he wants to see my casting for all transaction be it deposit or withdrawal as long as everything that has got to do with cash. And this casting is not the first or second time that he's reminding me. Why did I let go my casting?

Resign did came across over my mind as I've excess or shortages for 5times (4excess with 3 recover. this time shortage) within 2months of tellering. I don't find I'm suitable at all. Sometimes, I could even say that my person is there but my mind is not. Just like today. I do not know why. M I too exhausted or... I'm already bored with the daily work?

JL, please... do your casting. PLEASE!

And I do not know if this month I'm able to get my allowance for jun & jul. I hope I can, as I need the money for my trip next month. Alright, everything is over. Tomorrow is a brand new day eh?

YY jia you together okies?

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:11

12 August 2007

Wake up pretty early this morning was watchin korea drama 'sad love story' from 9am onwards. After watching the 3rd episode, went to shower and had my lunch before heading out to purchase our tickets to KL next month.

It seems like I couldn't find the map for our hotel location worx. But after some research I roughly know where the hotel located at. =) Hmm, can't wait for our trip worx. But both of us 've to admit that we actually feel a lil' scare of robbery.

Hmm, mummy just came over with her herbal tea. Thanks! And it seems like the coming pay I'll 've to give her 450bucks. Aww... guess after the KL trip gonna be broke. Sighs... nvm. =)

Jalan Sultan Ismail 50250 - our hotel accomodation

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:04

11 August 2007

Went to do reborning with jie jie at Geylang. Haa... donno why jie jie always jio me go do reborning, the first time at m'sia but I didn't go with her. The second time was at evolution hub she kept saying me to do when initially I was thinking of perming my hair. But after knowing that permed hair needs to apply lots of hair products so end up doing reborn. The second time I wanna do reborning was because my hair grew long and jie jie actually recommended Holiday Plaza at JB. So I went in with my friend. She did her colouring at City Square after that she accompanined me to HP to do my reborning. Hmm, so sad norhx, cuz was damaged 3 to 4 inches. End up, LL get it trimmed. =( Since then, bottom hair always looked dry and I was so lazy to apply anything on my hair not even using hair conditioner. That's the reason why I keep going to salon and that's why my hair never ever get long any more. Haa... Today I went also jie jie jio me go. Not too bad, cuz previous reborning still straight... so not much different either. Just that it looks more shine. =) Anyway, was dirty cheap, $150 and jie jie pay for me first. Gonna rtn her when I get my pay. Haha, so nice of her eh? Bought a hair cream from PJ (Cuz I see him so patient in doing both my jie jie and my hair) Went to eat my favourite Tian Ji Zhou. Wah super duper delicious! Share the entire large pots of frog legs with only my sister. Cuz mummy and bro in law don't eat frog legs de worx. Wow... yum yum... Took cabby back home. So tiring norhx. CSM say Monday he going to give me empowerment test. Sighs, not sure what question coming out. Madness, he asked me to study all. Hell, can't he give me some tips? More over, 80mark then consider pass. Argh...

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:09

Went to eat my favourite Tian Ji Zhou. Wah super duper delicious! Share the entire large pots of frog legs with only my sister. Cuz mummy and bro in law don't eat frog legs de worx. Wow... yum yum...

Took cabby back home. So tiring norhx.

CSM say Monday he going to give me empowerment test. Sighs, not sure what question coming out. Madness, he asked me to study all. Hell, can't he give me some tips? More over, 80mark then consider pass. Argh...

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:12

10 August 2007

Sigh, mummy skin sensitive so went to take a jab the other day. Guess she was allergie to either the medicine that the doctor prescribed or allergie to the injection. Her whole face sollow till her eyes nearly can't see. Elder brother brought her back to the same clinic and the doctor actually advised her to go hospital but she refused. Sighs, what should I do?

I very vexed up of whats happening at home, d*** it.

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:32

09 August 2007

I've finally endure the entire day. Actually afterall the movie [Rush Hour 3] was rather worth to watch despite of 4hours sleep last night. Haa... and as usu no matter how exhausted I'm, I'll never miss out to blog an entry for the day. So here I'm...

Movie ended about 2130hr and I decided to meet Kelly out for dinner at PM. Haa, was happy that she agreed. Hmm, though was a short catch up but I really appreciate her accompaniment. Thanks girl. Reached home, was taken aback how come the light was on and the door was opened when I came out from bathroom. Haa, then I saw my bro in law still awake. =)

Sighs, family problems really troubling me a lot. And cuz of my mom, I do not know should I move back home to take care her?

Anyway, my injury compensation came. It was like finally. But m not satisfied with the lil' amount that SBS had offered. So tomorrow I'll write a letter back to them eh?

I hope I'll luv myself more

02:06

08 August 2007

Surprise! I'm back, yes... finally. Finally I've got the time to get it all done and fixed. Initially internet could not be use. Haa..

Hmm... for friends who concern about me. Here it's...

Currently been working, everything so far so good. Haa, let me introduce my colleagues eh? Haa, my mentor FPP, senior Ah Yeow, Jessie Aunt, Yi Xiang SGC,BO Cat, CSM Mr Wong, PFC Robin, Elaine, Angie and big boss Evelyn. FPP also serious with her work but sometimes, blur blur too. But she's very nice, always help me but sometimes can be impatient too. Yi Xiang, haa... still remember her first join to our branch I kinda throw tantrum at her. So pai sey worx. But afterall, she helped me a lot and I've learnt a lot of things from her. Must really say thanks to her. Hmm, she's sick, tomorrow she would be back. Miss her worx. Ah Yeow the one who loves to disturb me. Haa... as for Jessie Aunt, sigh... everytime rushing me to do balancing and voucher s fast s I can. Sob... feel so pressurized worx. Oh ya, I miss out my junior, new colleague... Nic' aka De Ming, TBO.

Think Saturday quarrelled with sister cuz of minor issue. But anyway, I really mistaken her. Haa... and m still same... petty. Must change away my da xiao jie bi qi worx. Haix...

This evening chatted with Elaine, she actually encouraged me to further my studies but I told her is tough. Haa... she said it was just an excuse. After giving thoughts of what she've said, is really true. And I kinda sad that I didn't manage to get into poly despite of that 3.6 gpa. I think I haven't been working hard enough.

Alright, that's about all for today. Tomorrow there'll be a workshop as well as movie (Rush Hour 3) by company. CSM signed me up for that, so gonna be a long long tiring day for me. Sobs.

I heard from sis that mom cried this evening cuz of the old man worx. She even threw bowls and of cuz broke into pieces. Sigh... why things always turns out so nasty. Was it all because of me? Have I done anything wrong?

I hope I'll luv myself more

00:11